Every gym I’ve ever visited has the same problem. Too man bikes and ellipticals and fitness machines. Not enough benches, squat racks or dead lifting areas!
So, my idea is to open a gym called The Big Three. The advertisement would go like this:
Are you tired of waiting an hour to bench press? Have you ever asked yourself why every gym has 20 bikes, 30 ellipticals and 50 fitness machines and only ONE bloody squat rack? How many times has your workout gone unfinished because some goofball is doing sit ups in the dead lifting area?
Wait no more! At The Big Three, we have 10 benches, 10 squat racks and 2,500 square feet of dead lifting space stocked with plates and barbells. Chest, legs and back, baby!
The Big Three – Because you shouldn’t have to put your health on hold.
It’s easy to imagine decades of lame stream media consumption, processed foods and sleep walking through a career of make-work tasks jinxes modern man with premature brain crystallization.
Similarly, would it not make sense that occupying your attention with challenging books, fueling your body with fine foods and matching each hour of work with an equal amount of playful exploration may preserve the mind’s spritely freshness up until the curtain drops?
Familiarity breeds contempt. So, don’t be surprised when readers compliment the freshness and originality of your writing when – ironically – you almost didn’t publish the work, embarrassed by it’s uninventiveness.
Only you have access to your mind. So ask yourself, Is this idea derivative, or does it just feel trite, because it’s been living in my head for so long?
Your child is in high spirits? Tell him to quit farting around and take life seriously.
Only compliment your son after he’s earned it through self-deprecation.
The idea is to condition him, like Pavlov’s dog, to expect vitriolic reproof should he ever dare to rescue his mind from the quicksand of self-doubt. This is for his own good. It’s hard to get into trouble when you’re afraid of your own shadow.