Have you heard of this bologna called love languages? The idea is people give and receive love in different ways. That’s pseudoscience. There is one love language: obedience to arbitrary rules.
The words “I’m sorry” should not be in a parent’s vocabulary. Apologies are a slippery slope. “I was wrong” is a cursed phrase, for Pandora’s Box has opened. Suddenly, you’re expected to take responsibility instead of blame shifting. No thanks. I didn’t sign up for that!
Good parenting is generational transference of paranoia. Have you seen today’s kids facing the world boldly? It’s unbecoming. Decent people live in fear and trembling.
The consensus of my children is that I’ve held them to high standards while offering little feedback. Apparently, they wish I’d been warmer and less quick to minimize their opinions. In related news, the consensus among my new water ski instructor and I is that my children are high-maintenance pests. So, fire up the boat,Continue reading “Boomer Parenting #23”
To hell with boys will be boys. Discipline your kids as if you yourself were never a kid. Respond to the cheerful mischief of childhood with befuddled indignation. Laughing and frolicking is for ne’er do wells, not the children of respectable parents. Call horseplay what it really is, an omen of adolescent violence. If youContinue reading “Boomer Parenting # 22”
“We finally bought our dream house. It was not cheap; Sacrifices were made.” “For example, instead of a traditional inheritance, I will bequeath my son with my library of autobiographies written by famous athletes.” “And for my daughter – she’s always loved the holidays – so we’re leaving her with all of the Christmas, HalloweenContinue reading “Boomer Parenting #21”
“Why would I waste my time driving across town to watch my son’s homecoming football game when I can watch the professionals on ESPN without leaving my recliner?” “Duh!”
Be mindful of nature’s hints. You will sense – deep in your bowels and early on- which of your kids has been bequeathed with the highest potential for success. Listen to this gut instinct and act on it! You must – like a panda – direct all of your time and resources (both monetary andContinue reading “Boomer Parenting #19”
“Boomer hack: When your kids are craving parental guidance, ease their minds with words of wisdom from the latest fortune cookie message you read.” “That way you’re not wasting time personalizing new advice for the specific problems of each kid.” “Swish!”
A knitted brow, angry eyes and a raised voice beat level-headed negotiation ten times out of ten.