Have you heard of this bologna called love languages? The idea is people give and receive love in different ways. That’s pseudoscience. There is one love language: obedience to arbitrary rules.
The words “I’m sorry” should not be in a parent’s vocabulary. Apologies are a slippery slope. “I was wrong” is a cursed phrase, for Pandora’s Box has opened. Suddenly, you’re expected to take responsibility instead of blame shifting. No thanks. I didn’t sign up for that!
Good parenting is generational transference of paranoia. Have you seen today’s kids facing the world boldly? It’s unbecoming. Decent people live in fear and trembling.
Solvency and marketable skills amount to zilch if you’ve never known the enlightenment of classroom experience. Your career will take care of itself if you’re a good person. The foundation of a rewarding life is a university edumacation.
The consensus of my children is that I’ve held them to high standards while offering little feedback. Apparently, they wish I’d been warmer and less quick to minimize their opinions. In related news, the consensus among my new water ski instructor and I is that my children are high-maintenance pests. So, fire up the boat,Continue reading “Boomer Parenting #23”
To hell with boys will be boys. Discipline your kids as if you yourself were never a kid. Respond to the cheerful mischief of childhood with befuddled indignation. Laughing and frolicking is for ne’er do wells, not the children of respectable parents. Call horseplay what it really is, an omen of adolescent violence. If youContinue reading “Boomer Parenting # 22”
“Boomer hack: When your kids are craving parental guidance, ease their minds with words of wisdom from the latest fortune cookie message you read.” “That way you’re not wasting time personalizing new advice for the specific problems of each kid.” “Swish!”
A knitted brow, angry eyes and a raised voice beat level-headed negotiation ten times out of ten.
Conflate nebbishness with maturity. Call self-amusement thoughtlessness. Your child is in high spirits? Tell him to quit farting around and take life seriously. Only compliment your son after he’s earned it through self-deprecation. The idea is to condition him, like Pavlov’s dog, to expect vitriolic reproof should he ever dare to rescue his mind fromContinue reading “Boomer Parenting # 16”
Offer no support when your child is mistreated by peers or teachers. Your child must have empathy for his tormentors. Never validate his suffering. This will snip the emotional ambilocal chord of parent-child attachment. The ensuing trauma will put an end to that obnoxious phase of self-importance that haunts the years of adolescence.