Have you heard of this bologna called love languages? The idea is people give and receive love in different ways. That’s pseudoscience. There is one love language: obedience to arbitrary rules.
The words “I’m sorry” should not be in a parent’s vocabulary. Apologies are a slippery slope. “I was wrong” is a cursed phrase, for Pandora’s Box has opened. Suddenly, you’re expected to take responsibility instead of blame shifting. No thanks. I didn’t sign up for that!
Good parenting is generational transference of paranoia. Have you seen today’s kids facing the world boldly? It’s unbecoming. Decent people live in fear and trembling.
The consensus of my children is that I’ve held them to high standards while offering little feedback. Apparently, they wish I’d been warmer and less quick to minimize their opinions. In related news, the consensus among my new water ski instructor and I is that my children are high-maintenance pests. So, fire up the boat,Continue reading “Boomer Parenting #23”
To hell with boys will be boys. Discipline your kids as if you yourself were never a kid. Respond to the cheerful mischief of childhood with befuddled indignation. Laughing and frolicking is for ne’er do wells, not the children of respectable parents. Call horseplay what it really is, an omen of adolescent violence. If youContinue reading “Boomer Parenting # 22”
“Boomer hack: When your kids are craving parental guidance, ease their minds with words of wisdom from the latest fortune cookie message you read.” “That way you’re not wasting time personalizing new advice for the specific problems of each kid.” “Swish!”
Golf > Grandkids
“I paid $7,000 total for a masters degree from Top 20 university. My kids will pay $53,000 for a BA from a third tier state school.” “This is a good thing, because it will teach my kids the importance of hard work after graduation!”
“Why can’t my daughters be more fun and popular, like Katie Couric?”
“The virtues and talents of my children only exist if discussed by my friends during racquet ball”, thought James Miller, his eyelids suddenly heavy in the blue-gray glow of a cable news broadcast.