Boomer Parenting #23

The consensus of my children is that I’ve held them to high standards while offering little feedback. Apparently, they wish I’d been warmer and less quick to minimize their opinions. In related news, the consensus among my new water ski instructor and I is that my children are high-maintenance pests. So, fire up the boat,Continue reading “Boomer Parenting #23”

Boomer Parenting # 22

To hell with boys will be boys. Discipline your kids as if you yourself were never a kid. Respond to the cheerful mischief of childhood with befuddled indignation. Laughing and frolicking is for ne’er do wells, not the children of respectable parents. Call horseplay what it really is, an omen of adolescent violence. If youContinue reading “Boomer Parenting # 22”

Boomer Parenting # 16

Conflate nebbishness with maturity. Call self-amusement thoughtlessness. Your child is in high spirits? Tell him to quit farting around and take life seriously. Only compliment your son after he’s earned it through self-deprecation. The idea is to condition him, like Pavlov’s dog, to expect vitriolic reproof should he ever dare to rescue his mind fromContinue reading “Boomer Parenting # 16”

Boomer Parenting #15

Offer no support when your child is mistreated by peers or teachers. Your child must have empathy for his tormentors. Never validate his suffering. This will snip the emotional ambilocal chord of parent-child attachment. The ensuing trauma will put an end to that obnoxious phase of self-importance that haunts the years of adolescence.

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