Chicago is a tundra, so I escape to New Orleans.
En route to the French Quarter I marvel at the shabbiness. Broken windows. Crooked sidewalk slabs. Peeling paint. Moldy bricks. Is there a building in New Orleans without missing roof shingles?
The lack of maintenance has a sort of provincial charm I must say. The dents and stains like heirlooms from simpler, more homogenous times. There’s not the sense of degeneracy that rundown areas of the North have. That’s how I see it, at least.
As a person who has never experienced a temperate winter, I can’t reconcile the weather and date. It’s humid. The air is full of tropical stickiness. The week before it was 50 degrees and locals shivered under mink coats I’m told.
I go exploring.
Old world architecture cures the alienation of modernity. You’re never inside or outside in the French Quarter. Bars only have three walls. Tropical plus colonial architecture is like there are opportunities in the air. The narrow streets make a maze of balcony’s and hanging plants. The fact that each building has a balcony leaves the impression that each unit is open for a discussion.
I discover New Orleans style iced coffee. That’s coffee, chicory and a lot of milk plus a lot of crushed ice. The best part is chomping on the coffee-flavored ice crystals. It’s too sweet and herbal for an everyday drink. Perfect vacation coffee just the same.
The homeless people look like they’ve been homeless since the French sold us the place.
There’s the mentally disadvantaged homeless sleeping in garbage nests. He’s so dulled-witted they’re practically none-verbal. He would be receiving long term care at a public psychiatric hospital if only he was cognizant enough to admit myself.
Then there’s the deadbeat homeless. He needs $11.89 (specificity makes the story more believable) for a hotel room until he moves into the halfway house tomorrow. He is the jobphobic scammer. He has the impulse control of a child. Aristotle’s natural slave.
Canal Street is pure sketch. Like every main drag in every major city in America, black men cruise laps in Bonivilles and Impalas with oversized gold rims and tacky, iridescent paint.
“I must bring back a piece of Nawlans to commemorate this trip,” I remind myself. I almost buy a Mardi Gra mask, but think better of it and continue down Decatur Street.
Back in my hotel room I drink Budweiser and Milwaukee’s Best and watch a giant cruise ships awkwardly navigate the Mississippi.
Final assessment: I enjoyed the French Quarter, but I won’t be coming back anytime soon. I had no idea it was so touristy. The French Quarter feels like an amusement park recreation of a city. All of the interesting cultural characteristics that were once an honest expression of the personality of the city are now used as bait to lure rubes into oyster bars, voodoo shops. It kind of bummed me out to see how commercialized the Big Easy has become.